The Mystery of Miscarriage

For my quarter 4 independent reading, I chose The Light Between Oceans by M. L. Stedman. The story follows the lighthouse keeper, Tom, and his wife, Isabel, the sole residents of the island Janus. Stedman describes how, after three failed pregnancies, they find a baby washed up on shore and pretend it is their biological child, naming her Lucy. Eventually, the truth about Lucy is revealed, and she is forcefully returned to her biological mother, Hannah. Stedman illustrates this story with nautical and light language to illuminate the hope and limitlessness of humanity, as well as the vast and disheartening disconnect among individuals. I chose to research the psychological changes that occur during pregnancy, as well the grief that accompanies miscarriage, to shed light on Isabel's motivations to "adopt" the child they find.  

During her pregnancies, Isabel feels very attached to her babies. Biologically, a woman's body is flooded with hormones during pregnancy, which makes them more sensitive and prepares them for motherly bonding with their child. Isabel is determined to be a mother; Tom describes her as "utterly single-minded about it" (66). However, Tom doesn't get the same feelings of fatherhood: he is "nervous and excited and worried" at the prospect of becoming a father, and ponders whether or not it was fair to raise children on such an isolated island (72). While Isabel looks ahead to her new child, Tom looks back on his past in the war: "he'd been on death's books for so long, it seemed impossible that life was making an entry in his favor" (70). This begins the disconnect between the couple: their feelings regarding parenthood are too vast in different ways for either of them to understand, just as the two oceans are separated around their lighthouse.

Isabel has three miscarriages, and following each she experiences profound grief and depression. Following a miscarriage, women experience an abrupt hormonal change which leaves them susceptible to postpartum depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders, so she's very emotionally unstable. This is clear in her irritability with Tom when he sends for a piano tuner, whom she mistakes for a doctor, and accuses him: "you went behind my back...you should be ashamed of yourself!" (77). The hormones produced during Isabel's pregnancies also create intense feelings of motherhood that have no direction after her miscarriage. Biologically, her quick attachment to Lucy, whom they find washed up on their island one day with her dead father, is logical. Because Tom hasn't experienced as great of a change, his rational side still encourages him to send Lucy back to the mainland. While Isabel and Tom remain emotionally connected and very in love throughout the rest of their relationship, there's a clear disjoint in their thought patterns surrounding Lucy.

Additionally, it is much harder to grieve for an untraditional loss. After her miscarriages, Isabel tries to substitute by planting driftwood crosses on the cliff, but she still suffers tremendous sadness. Miscarriages are surrounded by an immense amount of stigma, and those who haven't experienced a similar loss may not fully understand the pain of losing someone who hasn't even been born yet. After Lucy is taken from Isabel, she feels a similar grief: "everyone I've lost—they've just been ripped away—into nothing. Maybe a funeral would have made...a difference" (263).This grief is something that connects Isabel to Lucy's biological mother, Hannah. Hannah loses both her child (renamed Lucy) and husband when they take a rowboat out to sea. She has no clarity on their fate for many years: she is left grieving for people who may still be alive, and has no bodies or funeral to give her a sense of closure.