Lightkeeper's Logbook [Or, some of Tom's lies]

Lightkeeper’s Logbook [Or, some of Tom's lies]

April 27th, 1926

Janus Rock

Manchester Queen bound for Cape Town [There was another boat, too, with a child, Lucy, her father, and a sweater. Isabel says it’s Lucy’s mother’s, says she’s dead by now.]

63 degrees Fahrenheit [My heart is slowly warming to Lucy, but I shiver at the thought that her mother might still be alive.]

wind: 3, fairly calm [The calm waters brought Lucy safely to us, but my stomach churns at the pace of 12, a hurricane brewing inside.]

Light on at 5:41 today. [The light in Isabel’s eyes is on, as well. Lucy gives her hope, I can tell.]

Isabel gave birth to our child, Lucy. [Her name means light. How can I take her away from Isabel? She’s brought us together, and Isabel loves her like her own.]

Premature birth, no other complications. [Except that she’s not ours.]

7 lbs, 1 oz. [Her father’s body was a heavy 170 when I dragged him ashore and threw him in a grave. The sound of his corpse hitting the bottom resounds in my mind. My lies will torture me.]

Radioed to shore to tell family. [But no one will radio Lucy's mother, if she has one. No one will tell their family that Lucy is alive, her father dead.]

We’ll visit grandparents on our shore break in June. [But who will find her mother? Who will mourn her father’s death?]

We love her. [Her real family loves her, too.]